Monday, August 25, 2008

Coming back out to play.....



The oldest email currently in my inbox is from New Years Day. It's a question from Orycteropus Afer, refering to my long blog silence, and asking if I was ready to come back out and play. I kept it in my inbox, and looked at it everytime I did a clean-out, but as much as I appreciated his encouragement....I guess I just wasn't ready.

I think I might be getting there tho.

I remember my younger self as being a very social person - I enjoyed having a full calendar and spending a lot of time with family and friends, cooking and entertaining, very active in church and choir activities. And then I went through several bouts of depression. Not completely debilitating, but I was very much affected. One of the first signs that I remember noticing but not paying attention to was when I began clearing my evening schedules so that I could stay home alone more often. When I cleared Wed evenings by no longer singing in the choir, something I loved for over 35 years, I should have realized that something was not right.

The biggest change, and most lasting effect is that I have become very much an introvert. It's often a real challenge to balance "people time" (which I need and want) and "alone time" which I also need and want. Over the last year or so, I often struggled to find that "quiet in my mind" time. There were often many demands on my time and attention, and plenty of stressful issues. Some days it seemed like the only "communication" I could "opt out of" was blogging....and so I did. I have another blog - a team knitting blog with one of my dear friends. That blog has also suffered neglect over the past year, but it was a bit easier to post an update on a knitting project, so I did keep up a little better.
In the past few months, I've noticed that it's less of a struggle to keep my balance. In fact (shhhhh, don't tell) I've actually enjoyed a higher level of social activity! I have become more active in my congregation, and my busier calendar hasn't sent me running for "my chair" at every free moment. And I'm kind of thinking of blogging again!

My first step was to begin posting regularly and frequently on my knitting blog. It was a good place to start - my goal has been daily short posts, even if it's just a picture and a paragraph. Kind of a stretching warm up. Now I'm starting to feel like doing a little stretching on this blog. Over the time that I've blogged here, one of the things I used this space for is to share and record childhood and family memories. I've always enjoyed learning about my family's history, and doing what I can to make our stories live on for future generations.

Of course, I haven't stopped having things to say about other things (Welcome Back Issues Etc!) but for my stretching exercises I have several family history posts percolating in my mind. That's where I hope to begin.
So. Play! What a cool idea! Thanks Orycteropus Afer, for thinking of me. Sorry it took so long....